When marriages suffer from serious problems, separation almost always leads to either reconciliation with the hopes of the marriage surviving or to divorce. The mother said she divorced her husband, who later re-married. Divorced men are welcome in the Church in the same manner as married men. These and other negative claims against early Mormon polygamy have caused understandable mental and spiritual turmoil for members. 14. E-mail correspondence, August 11, 2011. We should clarify to say CURRENTLY divorced or unmarried priesthood holders cannot be Bishop or a General Authority. Married or widowed are okay. ( 24. Then I will get a temple sealing. As for the OP. Of course, the teachings should be simple and matter-of-fact information such as mentioning in passing that early Church leaders like Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, as well as other early members of the Church, were commanded by God to have more than one wife. but we called it celestial marriage (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 2008); and Richard S. Van Wagoner, Mormon Polygamy: A History (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 1986). John C. Bennett, The History of the Saints; or, an Expos of Joe Smith and Mormonism (Boston: Leland & Whiting, 1842). However, Elder Baxter's family situation was still difficult. In December 2013, the LDS Church published an essay titled, Plural Marriage and Families in Early Utah, accessed January 20, 2014, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/plural-marriage-and-families-in-early-utah?lang=eng. That sounds [Page 52]like The Prime Directive in Star Trek.16 Is there any wonder a 2011 poll undertaken by a California polling company found that almost half of those polled thought Mormons either definitely or probably practice polygamy?17. 41. Most of these people, however, are just trying to find a way to react to something that is so contrary to accepted marriage patterns. And they forgive.2. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic.. [Page 47]This essay will examine the uncomfortable relationship between The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its polygamous past and the effect this discomfort has had on its members. If my daughters friend had been taught from her childhood, she would not have been blown away. 1. 25. There is much to appreciate about the honesty and vulnerability of the responses that were shared. These are truly touching and delicate experiences that members of the Church endured as they divorced. You'll also like: How to Talk to Children About Temple Covenants After a Divorce But these challenges only worked to strengthen President Uchtdorf's testimony of the gospel and family. All who have been through divorce know the pain and need the healing power and hope that come from the Atonement. DallinH. Oaks, Divorce, Ensign, May 2007, 70. We know that some look back on their divorces with regret at their own partial or predominant fault in the breakup. They interpret this lack of information as a species of lyingabout Joseph Smith, about other Church members polygamous past, or about the events which surrounded the cessation of Church-sanctioned plural marriage. Even more tragically, accidental discovery and/or inadequate teachings about the Churchs history and relationship to plural marriage have caused crises of faith which have alienated members of the Church and, in many cases, led to their eventual departure from the faith. When he was 15 years old, Elder Baxter says he looked back on the challenges his family faced in his younger yearsalcoholism, divorce, povertyall of the things he couldn't change in his past and decided, "I will change the futurefor myself and for the children I will someday have. Another shared a similar experience: They stopped inviting me to every activity, shopping trip, dinners, everything. 18. While some periods of separation are longer and uglier than others, a finality is almost always achieved. For Latter-day Saint children of divorce, questions like this can add to the sadness and uncertainty that divorce brings. . For example, take my sons to general priesthood meeting., Ask if anything [is] needed. Brian C. Hales, on the other hand, in an excellent essay, Joseph Smith and the Puzzlement of Polyandry, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 99151, offers a compelling argument for the proposition that Joseph Smiths polyandrous marriages were non-sexual and were eternity only sealings. There was not, unfortunately, a good representation of race and ethnicity: almost all of the respondents were Caucasian, with just a few identifying themselves as Hispanic or Asian/Pacific Islander.33 Respondents lived all over the United States as well as in Canada and several other countries. We then have a duty to root out these cultural misinterpretations from our midst, lest they cause great spiritual mischief.55, Echoing the thought that belief in plural marriage as an eternal principle should be rooted out among Latter-day Saints were several faithful Latter-day Saints who actively discuss Church doctrine and history. As interesting as the survey statistics were, the most fascinating parts of the survey data were the respondent comments. a link to what.that shows all 12 are married to their spouse??? A whole lesson about Doctrine and Covenants 132 and not one mention of plural marriage? For example, they wanted to focus on home life or to take care of children. Unlike Warren Jeffs and a small minority of polygamists, most Fundamentalist Mormons are quiet, law-abiding (other than practicing polygamy) people of good report who generally blend in with the rest of society and who have no desire to attract attention to themselves or their religious practices. In 1998, the late LDS president Gordon B. Hinckley proclaimed, I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. By Regardless of who was at greater fault in your divorce, healing wont come until there is repentance and forgiveness. Examples of some who have furthered and even built upon some of this sensational and inaccurate stereotyping are Fawn M. Brodie, No Man Knows My History: The Life of Joseph Smith (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1945); George D. Smith, Nauvoo Polygamy: . In like manner, we hide or diminish those things that embarrass us. One of those things is Joseph Smiths practice of polygamy because it seems that his polygamy is only in the picture when were called upon to defend him.23 Such an approach is not confined solely to individuals. Stephen C. Taysom, A Uniform and Common Recollection: Joseph Smiths Legacy, Polygamy, and the Creation of Mormon Public Memory, 1852 2002, Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought 35/3 (Fall 2002): 136. According to the newspaper article, the Lawrence Research poll found that 15% said Mormons definitely practice polygamy while another 31% said Mormons probably practice polygamy: a total of 46%. For some of our youth, the shock is too traumatic for their tender testimonies. Members were stung by the presence of those who had chosen to continue plural marriage outside of the Churchs control.3 This constant reminder to both members and the outside world has embarrassed and bothered Church officials and members alike. These strenuous denials have continued to the present, in large part because of the negative publicity generated by Warren Jeffs, the FLDS, and other branches of Mormon fundamentalism. Nevertheless, it remains a problem that is extremely difficult for some members to reconcile and even some of the most faithful Latter-day Saints remain troubled by it. An outspoken skeptic of the plurality of wives as an eternal principle is former BYU professor Valerie Hudson. Not, Flunking Sainthood, July 5, 2011, accessed August 11, 2011, http://blog.beliefnet.com/flunkingsainthood/2011/07/my-polygamous-heaven-not.html. If you worry that being supportive somehow condones something you don't approve of, remember that showing love does not mean you are condoning something. Second, celestial polygamy seems to evince a degree of sexism in the Church and even Gods eternal plan. That would be incorrect, divorced men can be bishops. As you read through these results, pay attention to your own inner voice and emotional responses. Temples are some of the most beautiful places on earth, but the work that takes place inside of them is what makes them sacred. I need you home to baptize me.". A few reasons suggest themselves: first, while 19th-century polygamy happened, it is, after all, in the past. Church policy, however, does have a preference to married men as bishops. Interestingly enough, 5 of the respondents were from England, with at least 3 of them identifying themselves as fundamentalist Mormons. I became a pariah. I commuted between Provo and Salt Lake City and enjoyed visiting with other regular commuters, [Page 62]all of whom were active members of the Church. To help us understand what its like to be divorced in such a family-oriented church, I conducted a survey of 1,062 Latter-day Saints who have experienced divorce. Most couples tried going to counseling to support orsave their marriage, but perhaps not to the degree we would expect: Note: The definition of what qualified as counseling support is unique for those surveyed and, in the course of the survey, seemed to be open to interpretation. When there are problems in different places around the world over difficult subjects like plural marriage, such as the recent apostasy problems in Sweden, leadership could then place even more emphasis on the education of its members in those specific places. For example, this topic is probably not as important to African or Asian Saints as it is to those living along the Wasatch Front. There was not, however, any mention of Brigham Youngs plural marriages. To help provide for her family, Elder Oaks's mother went to New York to continue her education while Elder Oaks and his siblings stayed with their grandparents. DieterF. Uchtdorf, The Merciful Obtain Mercy, Ensign, May 2012, 77. Joseph Perkins, Will Same-Sex Marriage Lead to Legalized Polygamy, Christian Post, October 8, 2011, accessed October 8, 2011, http://www.christianpost.com/news/will-same-sex-marriage-lead-to-legalized-polygamy-57640/. Furthermore, if she had been learning about the Churchs polygamous history in the youth Sunday School programs, she would have had a better foundation on which to stand. As they grew up, we would point to pictures of ancestors on the wall and explain how they came from his fifth wife or that the lady in the photograph was the plural wife of the man in [Page 70]the photo hanging next to hers. [Page 49]Another accusation of more recent date, perhaps even more insidious than the previous, charges the Mormons of pedophilia because of marriages with teenage brides.10 This [Page 50]slur has been aimed particularly against Joseph Smith in order to attack his claim to be a prophet of God. 9. 66. A man may remarry after the death of his wife and not be disqualified from these callings. Even so, 12 other countries were represented, most from European countries.34, Over 47% of survey respondents heard about polygamy as a child while another 39% heard about it as teenagers, for a total of over 86% learning about plural marriage while in their childhood or youth. His mother also remarried and was sealed in the London England Temple. I think that is a fantastic way for it to be done. At the time, Elder Cook's father was a less-active member and thought Elder Cook's older brother, Joe, should pursue a career in the medical field instead of serving a mission. My wife and I, for example, would explain to our children about their own ancestors from the time when they were able to understand. For some, it has been too much. [Page 67]Their sacrifice, etc., involving the practice was in vain and for a false principle??? I believe there is a strong case that he once was, and my conclusion comes from Pauls words in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9. Broadcasts Video Images Music Podcasts and Radio. To [Page 65]be fair, in the RS lesson this declaration evoked criticism and debate of a kind not often seen in RS.51. The prospect of polyandrous plural marriages seems particularly problematic. WebElder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, There are many good Church members who have been divorced and reiterated that unless a divorced He married his wife,Dianne Marie Lewars, and has four children. One woman got an angry look on her face and exclaimed, He did not! 37. The only safe path through a divorce is to remain true to the gospel. When he was 5 years old, Elder Baxter's mother and father divorced. That some are now agreeingon message boardsthat polygamy is something that will NOT be present in the post [mortal] world in any form, by any couple? There were 400 respondents, with a little over half being male. These negative feelings increased when confronted with criticism of the Church on the subject of plural marriage. Regular interaction with your children should remain a high priority, regardless of distance or remarriage. President Uchtdorf's family fled their home in Zwickau in East Germany to Frankfurtin West Germany. You can post now and register later. The percentage with very unfavorable feelings toward plural marriage was the highest among the possible unfavorable, including possible unfavorable feelings toward the LDS Church. For the very first time, I am seeing outright no in response to will there be celestial polygamy. One of the members of a private e-mail group of faithful Latter-day Saints wrote, EVERYTHING that Correlation has produced, since its inception, indicates the Church is running away from polygamy as fast as it can.41, For many active and disaffected members of the Church, certain aspects of Joseph Smiths polygamy have been difficult to understand or accept. It is television shows and books like these that confuse non-Mormons. 47. !45 Another womans exit letter from the Church had a series of accusatory questions including, Why did Smith marry and have sex with 11 women who were married to other men at the same time, some of whom he sent away on missions before marrying their wives? This may make him feel powerless and controlled by the system. Bill Redeker, Beer Maker Finds Polygamy Ads Sell, Good Morning America, February 8, 2011, accessed February 10, 2011, http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=126371&page=1.
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